Thursday, October 15, 2009

I. Am. Starving.

I have really neglected my WLS blog--sorry! I've just been all over the place and haven't had much time for any kind of blogging. I guess for now, I'll start with today and work back in time.

I am just over 6 months out from surgery and one of those lucky ones *sarcasm!* that is going to take forever to get decent restriction. You know, it's gonna take a lot of juice in my band for me to feel full. And I'm not really losing any weight.

My next fill is not until the 4th of November, so I have about 3 more weeks of being ravenous (or eating enough to not be ravenous and maybe gain 5 pounds). I'm going to do my best to behave, but without restriction, it's not an easy task.

Lest I be chastised at my next visit, I should switch to the politically correct terms pertaining to my band:
  • I don't go in for fills, I go in for adjustments
  • I will not hit the sweet spot, I will someday enter the green zone
  • It is not juice in my band, it is saline
Whatever! ; )

While I patiently wait for my band to WORK, I have worked on getting focused. It was quite easy right after surgery and until I got on solid, normal diet. Since then, it's been very tough. I'm very happy that other people get restriction (are in the green zone) a few fills out. I just wish I'd get there. 6 months later with no restriction is a big, fat pain in the butt. I know it's not super common, but it's totally a PITA when it happens to you.

In my plot for success, I am trying to set up my environment to help rather than hinder. I put a picture of me 60 pounds ago and a current picture side by side on my fridge.


I bought fresh vitamins and calcium in tastier flavors. I got a new edition of my food journal that has enough pages for 3 months and has a snazzy cover. I carry it EVERYWHERE and it is always lying open to the day's page. If it goes in, it goes down on paper. Helps me think twice about grabbing impulse food, especially realizing how much I've already eaten so far today.

I've also ditched the shuttle bus and have been walking 20 minutes twice a day. And drinking at least 64 oz of Crystal Light.

Being stomach-growling hungry (SGH) is annoying. But it's not like I'm gonna keel over or anything. Plus, by not going crazy at night, I have had good morning blood sugar readings the last two days in a row! Normally, I have to take 4U of insulin each morning. Now I take NOTHING! We'll see how tomorrow goes and if I can make it 3 days running.

Wish me luck. Or intestinal fortitude to not fill my cavernous, gurgling belly!


Debra Kay said...

60 pounds is NOTHING to sneeze at. Piss (can I cuss here? tell me if you'd rather I not and I won't) on PC.

Fill/adjustment-it's a little poke in the belly with a needle. Calling it something else doesn't make the needle go away-and it doesn't hurt, so who cares?

Now for the advice-stick some benefiber in your morning coffee-tastless and it improves the satiaity of coffee. (why can't I spell?) What were we talking about? OH, fiber. yeah. it really helps.

I won't blather on about it's a journey or all that crap, it's true, but when you are struggling you want to hear something but platitudes.

Join the November exercise challenge on the band board-it's dorky, but it does help you with your urge to exercise. I will never use the word accountability because it annoys the shit out of me (oops, I cussed) but it does encourage you, or at least it helps me.

I think I've had 4 fills, maybe 3 since having my band repositioned. and in the right place, the same band is taking longer to give me the restriction I want, so I do feel your frustration, but I'm just working on what I can, when I can. And the work you do know will be all that much more helpful when you do get restriction. I'm not just saying that-I believe it with all my heart.

Mareydenis said...

Woman, cuss away! I'm trying to be a little tame here, but hell. Why try to squish who I am, damnit!? ; )

I'm not sure what's with all the PC band crap lately. And the even less aggressive fill protocol. I'm pretty sure someone read the package insert that came in the box with the band, or something. Shit. Why start following directions NOW?

I need to do the November exercise challenge for sure. I've signed up for two on the band board and fizzled immediately. If no one's started it, I might have to do it, just to FORCE myself to weigh in and post each week. I don't know why it's like pulling teeth these days!

Thanks for the support, Debra, platitudes and all!!! I need to remind myself that I've given up fast foods and diet sodas and made a lot of positive changes.

The restriction is elusive for me right now, but it will come someday. You're right--just look at the changes I am working on and know that they'll be even more beneficial when that day comes.

You're good people!