Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Liquid Diet--still hanging in there!

I am on day 3-ish of my liquid diet and doing surprisingly well.  I am having no issues at all about being tempted.  Actually yesterday, I didn't even drink all my shakes.  YIKES!

Yesterday was challenging, though.  I have to say my bowels are not used to being empty. Not one bit.  I felt a tad queasy at lunch yesterday but swilled my two shake combo meal and some Crystal Light Peach Tea.  About an hour later, my colon started doing the cha-cha!

One of the things you hear about weight loss surgery:  never trust your farts.  I haven't had the surgery yet, but yesterday was a day not to trust them.  I went to the bathroom twice after lunch (mad dash!) and the second time I was sitting there laughing out loud because the bathroom was full (all 3 stalls occupied) and every time someone else would flush, I'd pass gas. LOUDLY.  It reminded me of the episode of Family Guy where Peter Griffin and Michael Moore have a fart off in the bathroom and end up performing dueling banjos.  Anally.

Except when it's just you in the stall stifling gas and laughter.  I lasted about an hour and then went home.  I was extremely tired, suffering from a headache, nauseated and had questionable bowel activity.  Being able to concentrate on work was not an option.  Nor was having my sanity questioned by fellow bathroom users.  You know they were doing a shoe check--who's the nut in stall 3 who sounds like she's trying to play a didgeridoo???

I went home, put on jammies and went straight to bed-bed.  No purple chair.  Bed.  Toddled back and forth between the bed and toilet for half an hour, then fell asleep.  Miraculously, even the dogs were quiet.  Usually they act like nuts playing or sit by the door and bark for me to come play.  But they were good for a change!

I didn't drink all my quotas for yesterday.  I only had 4 of my 6 shakes and had half a packet of cream of chicken cup of soup instead of my broth.  And I'm down 6 pounds of water weight since Sunday.  Yippeeee!

And it's funny.  Food just doesn't even feel like an option right now.  I was told I can't eat. Eat = no surgery.  No problem. I'm a very good rule follower, especially when they're brief, to the point and have a consequence.  I know people cheat on the liquid diet all the time, but, so far, I haven't felt a need.  I think I'll get through this phase okay.  Nausea sucks, but my headache is nearly gone and my colon is sulking quietly for now.  Whew.

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